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When you look in the mirror what do you see? Is it a beautiful soul in a beautiful body, or is it something less? Relationship therapist Tamra Mercieca why sometimes is can be difficult to see our own beauty.
It’s ironic how easy it is to notice other people’s beauty; their vibrant smile, pretty dress or the warmth they exude when they speak to you. Yet even think about showing ourselves that same admiration and more often than not, we turn and run. Many of us are blind to seeing our own attractiveness, whether it be voluptuous curves or a playful spirit.
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So what creates this inability to see ourselves in the most flattering light? The answer is simple. A myriad of negative beliefs we take on as a child. Maybe someone close to you said you were ‘ugly’, or you would ‘never account to anything’. Too young to ignore such negative abuse, you took on those comments as fact. You believed all those nasty statements, no questions asked.
Before you knew it, you’d become your own worst critic. The insults and beat-up many of us tell ourselves on a daily basis, are worse than any external bullying someone else could inflict upon us. No one else will ever cut you down the way you will chastise yourself. Left to fester this unhealthy self-talk manifests in many ways.
Some people start eating obsessively as they unconsciously work towards proving their negative belief to be true, that they are indeed ‘fat and ugly’. Others might starve themselves or purge their food, never believing they are skinny enough to be considered as good looking. Or maybe you are one of those people who just doesn’t bother about your appearance, thinking ‘what’s the point?’
Often the picture you see of yourself is very different to how others see you. While we may see others through rose coloured glasses, the reflection we see of our self is often tainted by our negative self-talk. We tend to focus on the traits we most dislike about ourselves, smothering ourselves in a blanket of put downs and criticisms. We judge ourselves in a way that creates insecurities about who we are.
So how do we switch off Channel Negative? We unplug the negative belief at the root cause. We go straight back to the time where the negative wiring was installed and reprogram it. Working with a therapist who practices Time-Line Therapy can be extremely effective, or you can find a course that teaches you how to remove the beliefs yourself so you can become self-sufficient.
Once you clear out these negative beliefs you’ll be able to look in the mirror and love the person looking back at you. You will be able to appreciate all you idiosyncrasies and adore your uniqueness. As Grey Livingston once said: ‘Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye’.
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